Best Games Featuring Talking Weapons

Summary

• Games like High On Life and Boyfriend Dungeon showcase uniquely quirky, sentient weapons.
• Sentient weapons offer deeper gameplay experiences by interacting with players in fun and engaging ways.
• Titles like Transistor and The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword feature helpful and talkative weapons that enhance storytelling.

Weapons are such a commonly found item in video games, with the vast majority aiming for a realistic depiction of historical, contemporary, or hypothetical futuristic armaments. Lots of developers still find new ways to surprise many players with their bizarre creations when it comes to objects of war, with all kinds of weird and wonderful shapes, sizes, and effects.

Some video game weapons possess their own personalities and are able to communicate with their wielders, allies, and enemies through some form of speech. Such talkative and sentient weapons stand out from the pack, regardless of whether they are likable, irritating, or somewhere in between, and can be found in some of the best games ever made.

1

High On Life

Eliminate Targets Using Sentient Guns

A somewhat polarizing game due to its absurdist and oftentimes crude humor, High On Life was created by many of the same people involved in the production of Rick and Morty, and it features plenty of references to the edgy animated series. Aliens have invaded Earth and wish to get high off humans, so it’s up to the protagonist to become an intergalactic bounty hunter and take them down.

Making use of sentient alien weapons known as Gatlians, players can solve puzzles, eliminate enemies, and listen to the various quips of their charismatic firearms while doing so. Each weapon possesses its own unique abilities, which must be utilized to progress through levels before taking down Garmantuous and his minions.

2

Boyfriend Dungeon

Use Dates As Weapons

Part dungeon crawler, part dating simulator, Boyfriend Dungeon is a rare game where all weapons have their own personalities and are able to speak. There are nine dateable “bae blades,” each possessing their own unique personalities, who transform into different types of swords and can be used to clear dungeons.

If a romantic relationship is not desired with any of these destructive hunks, platonic relationships are perfectly acceptable and yield the same results in terms of leveling up. The gameplay is fairly well-balanced between the two genres, as the story is enjoyable and surprisingly deep at times, plus there are plenty of laughs for those who enjoy tongue-in-cheek humor.

3

Saints Row: Gat Out Of Hell

Deep-Voiced Gun That Loves Murder

Obtained by killing Dex seven times, Gallows Dodger is a smack-talking gun in Saints Row: Gat Out Of Hell. The Saints Row series is known for its over-the-top action and obscure types of firearms and melee options, with Gat Out of Hell being no different, especially when considering each of the weapons representing the Seven Deadly Sins.

Gallows Dodger is arguably the best and most destructive of them all. A meter builds up as players eliminate their foes, and it fires explosive bursts when filled, causing mass mayhem and destruction. During these killing sprees, the gun utters deep-voiced quips, which are especially sarcastic, and it even manages to stand out in this already quirky series.

4

Transistor

Let The Sword Do The Talking

One of the earlier entries in Supergiant Games’ back catalog, Transistor stars a protagonist without a voice whose sword speaks for her. While traveling through Cloudbank, mute protagonist and singer, Red, will slash her way through swaths of robotic enemies known as The Process, wielding the eponymous sword.

The combination of real-time and turn-based planning leads to thrilling action — and one of the most exciting showdowns with a final boss ever seen. Acting as the game’s narrator, the entity trapped within the sword guides Red through the game and even has some reactive dialogue to the action taking place. One of the most endearing things is that he seems to actually care about Red’s well-being.

5

Pathfinder: Wrath Of The Righteous

A Weapon And Also A Companion

An isometric fantasy RPG with high levels of character customization, Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous contains many compelling companions who join the player on their adventure. One such ally is Finnean, an individual shrouded in mystery who can join the quest and take the form of any weapon.

An affable and helpful character, Finnean’s backstory can be uncovered through various side quests, though he claims to be a redheaded half-elf and is unaware of his current metallic circumstances. Inhabiting any chosen weapon, Finnean will provide several bonuses to that chosen armament, and he will interject in conversations just as any other party member would.

6

Pillars Of Eternity 2: Deadfire

Bloodthirsty Spirit Trapped In A Sword

Assembling a crew of companions to set sail on the open seas in the region of Deadfire, Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire sets players in pursuit of Eothas, a dangerous god. Along the way, the Watcher will come into possession of a sword known as Modwyr, which itself contains a spirit who is desperate for blood.

Quests can be completed to discover the blade’s previous owner, and ultimately decide her fate, but she will converse with the Watcher throughout. When asked, Modwyr will offer opinions about other companions or certain locations, oftentimes being filthy, cruel, humorous, or eager to slice through somebody.

7

Team Fortress 2

Eyelander Desires The Heads Of Enemies

One of the most popular multiplayer first-person shooters ever made, Team Fortress 2 features only one talking weapon, which has an extremely limited vocabulary. When using Demoman, there is an unlockable sword known as Eyelander, which is said to be inhabited by a malicious spirit and provides some powerful bonuses for those who build up kill streaks.

Regularly muttering the word “heads,” Eyelander can be utilized to decapitate enemies, granting increased health and speed to Demoman with each successive kill. Of course, there are limits, and the character will start with reduced health points and speed compared to others, but those proficient with the sword can satisfy its bloodthirsty whims and become almost unstoppable.

8

Baldur’s Gate 2: Shadows Of Amn

An Eccentric And Witty Blade

Early in the proceedings of the classic isometric RPG Baldur’s Gate II:Shadows of Amn, players will come across Lilarcor, an enchanted and excessively chatty sword. Often an entertaining or annoying figure, depending on personal preferences, the blade is also known as Lawrence Lilarcor and renders its wielder immune to confusion and charm.

The protagonist may ask for advice from the weapon, but it will otherwise offer comments quite frequently, and though not exactly brave, Lilarcor seems bloodthirsty, regularly boasting to the party. If Minsc is currently in the party or holding Lilarcor, the conversation can be particularly amusing given both of their respective eccentricities.

9

The Legend Of Zelda: Skyward Sword

Speak Directly With The Goddess Inside The Master Sword

There is evidence to suggest that The Master Sword is capable of speech in several entries in the series, but none quite so prominently and obviously as The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. Initially known as the Goddess Sword due to being inhabited by the Goddess Fi, the Master Sword in Skyward Sword is a companion to Link throughout the game’s runtime.

Link may speak to the sword at any time, asking for information or advice about specific features, enemies, or locations within the game, but Fi appears outside the confines of the blade during some story moments and when providing tutorials for new mechanics. Though Fi comes across as robotic and emotionless, she is always reliable and can be endearing at times.